Amma - Kondhey, I have made nice avial and molagu kutaan. Simply dont be sitting infront of that useless laptop all the time. Come and have dinner.
Mini - Pashikkalai amma. I am working and pls dont distract me.
Daddy - Ahaaan ! Enna pashikkalai ? You come so late from work, God knows whether you eat anything in the office. You are always looking tired and no thembu to do anything. No one will like you...
Amma - You have to marry and bear children, if you are not strong then no use. Dont keep sitting in the same pose like a hospital patient. Even a prasavichha lady will be more active.
Mini - Aaaargh ! OK ! . Chaapadnum. Avlodhaaney. Ok.
( Amma puts one "andaa" full of rice on plate + 50 gms ghee + lots of vadaam and appalam)
Mini - Why do you make it so spicy ? My eyes are burning and my nose is watering.
Anna - There is no uppu or chappu in this. Only mini can eat this.
Amma - Ippadiyee chollindirungoo..
(Mini's stomach's more than full and lets out a loud burp )
Mini - I cant have more than this ( takes an uneaten appalam and puts it on Anna's plate)
Daddy - Echhala parthadengo ma.. veetla daridhram varum cholluva..
Mini - Daddy, how is it possible ? Instead of throwing uneaten food, I put it on someone's plate, how would we get dadridhram ?
Amma - Dont unnecessarily argue with daddy. He is right. We should not spread echhal.
Mini - There is no logic in this.
Daddy - Bhesh ! Enna logic vendi irrukku ? College la you didnt study properly, we sent you to dance class, you said you wanted to learn music. Sent you to nalla carnataka sangeetham class, you leave that and go to hindustani.. now useless cinema paatu.. that too.. roadside paatu. So finally you dont know anything other than typing in that stupid laptop. Instead of spending so much to educate you, I should have put you in type writing school
Mini - Ippo enna ? I am useless. I will start my own company and become great. That day you can keep looking at me.
Daddy - Hahahahaha. Innum patthu varsham ippadiye lazyaa sit with laptop in that sofa, kandippa great ayiduvai
Mini mad, anna mad, amma madder and daddy maddest
Amma - kozhandhaya chutti podanum. Drishti. Thats why she's not eating properly and behaving so badly.
Mini - drishti and bad behaviour - eppadi amma related ? i am gettinng really angry..
Amma - Exactly, drishtiyeee dhaan
Daddy - Her friend circle sheri illai. We should cut all her friends first.
Amma - Amaaam.
Mini - Amma.. stop this amaam potufying for everything...
...... and so it continues.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Bus Ride
Driving in peak traffic in Chennai requires skills - Skills of turning into an absolute deaf, blind and dumb person all at the same time.
Let me explain. Say, you have to reach the Railway station at 8 and you have been driving since 6 and are no where close to the station at 715 , well its time to use your skills. You must drive as though you are absolutely blind, honk the car as though you have never had an ear lobe and to the abuses you are bound to hear - A big smile back confirming you lack the power of human speech.
Hearing about Chennai traffic from the recent ' a la US returns' is extremely amusing. The typical cliched ' oh ! stupid me ! i havta remember that I gotta drive on the wrong side of the road' or ' ah! crap! i keep forgetting the driver's seat's on the other side' or ' when would the INDIANS ever learn to drive' but the one I fancy the most is ' yay ! no seat belts' like they've been wearing seat belts all their life. I am also proud to say that I have said all of the above typical U.S return bromides and many more.. :D
I had to collect my brother's wedding invitations at "Parrys" . When I was 6 and had come to Chennai for the very first time, my brother said we were going to "Paris" by train. I confirmed Paris as in 'London-Paris Paris' and he said of course, didn't you know the superfast 60 kmph electric train ride can take anyone to Paris. I did go and never found french speaking people or Eiffel tower. Bummer ? Not really !
12 years later, my best friends Jo and Vij decided to take me to 'Pondy' and I told the whole world I was going to Pondicherry. You should have seen the extremely intelligent look on my face when we reached " Pondy Bazaar " to do street shopping. Ouch ! but fun ! Jo however kept her promise and did take me to the 'real' Pondy a few years later ( for Addu' wedding if I am not wrong )
So anyway, I was strictly prohibited from driving to Parry's all by myself by family and friends. So, I took the superfast 60 kmph train to Parrys. The place in every aspect fits the word 'filthy' but if its wedding season or holiday season - this is the place. There is an entire street with only wedding cards , the first store say sells a card for 20 bucks a piece, the next store would have the same exact piece selling at 15 bucks a piece, the difference I could hardly tell. If you go further down, you get the same piece for 3 bucks, except now the quality is noticeably bad but is an exact replica of the original. So, my advice for goers to this place - bear the stench and get what you want for price you want.
On my return home, I decided to take a bus instead of the metro. I was annoyed by the overly crowded , extremely loud chattering vendors and constant smirks et clapperclawing of the bus conductor towards the public. I almost, decided to stomp out in rage but voted out. I got into thinking, hailing from a middle class family I have been taking the bus all my life until I turned out to be a proud owner of Lakshmi ( My first car, I will save the story of the car naming ceremony to a later date ). I have never once had to travel by bus since the car.
Once, I had the car, the bus - the same bus that took me places and for being the means of some great memories has became annoying and that something I would never would want to take till my last breath. I started to feel bad for the bus, and took it to the next level of thought.
But isn't moving from bus to car simply meant I have grown economically ? Every time I complain the prices of fuel going up or my car broke down doesn't it just mean that I am blessed enough to have my own transportation. Haven't I worked hard to have some of these pleasures in life that discarding to ride the bus shouldn't be a big deal anymore.
How much ever I try convincing myself that its not wrong to feel this way about not wanting to take the bus I a big question came to my head - Does this attitude mean I am the kind who would get rid of things as I progress in life ?
Well, all I can do is just pray and hope not.
Let me explain. Say, you have to reach the Railway station at 8 and you have been driving since 6 and are no where close to the station at 715 , well its time to use your skills. You must drive as though you are absolutely blind, honk the car as though you have never had an ear lobe and to the abuses you are bound to hear - A big smile back confirming you lack the power of human speech.
Hearing about Chennai traffic from the recent ' a la US returns' is extremely amusing. The typical cliched ' oh ! stupid me ! i havta remember that I gotta drive on the wrong side of the road' or ' ah! crap! i keep forgetting the driver's seat's on the other side' or ' when would the INDIANS ever learn to drive' but the one I fancy the most is ' yay ! no seat belts' like they've been wearing seat belts all their life. I am also proud to say that I have said all of the above typical U.S return bromides and many more.. :D
I had to collect my brother's wedding invitations at "Parrys" . When I was 6 and had come to Chennai for the very first time, my brother said we were going to "Paris" by train. I confirmed Paris as in 'London-Paris Paris' and he said of course, didn't you know the superfast 60 kmph electric train ride can take anyone to Paris. I did go and never found french speaking people or Eiffel tower. Bummer ? Not really !
12 years later, my best friends Jo and Vij decided to take me to 'Pondy' and I told the whole world I was going to Pondicherry. You should have seen the extremely intelligent look on my face when we reached " Pondy Bazaar " to do street shopping. Ouch ! but fun ! Jo however kept her promise and did take me to the 'real' Pondy a few years later ( for Addu' wedding if I am not wrong )
So anyway, I was strictly prohibited from driving to Parry's all by myself by family and friends. So, I took the superfast 60 kmph train to Parrys. The place in every aspect fits the word 'filthy' but if its wedding season or holiday season - this is the place. There is an entire street with only wedding cards , the first store say sells a card for 20 bucks a piece, the next store would have the same exact piece selling at 15 bucks a piece, the difference I could hardly tell. If you go further down, you get the same piece for 3 bucks, except now the quality is noticeably bad but is an exact replica of the original. So, my advice for goers to this place - bear the stench and get what you want for price you want.
On my return home, I decided to take a bus instead of the metro. I was annoyed by the overly crowded , extremely loud chattering vendors and constant smirks et clapperclawing of the bus conductor towards the public. I almost, decided to stomp out in rage but voted out. I got into thinking, hailing from a middle class family I have been taking the bus all my life until I turned out to be a proud owner of Lakshmi ( My first car, I will save the story of the car naming ceremony to a later date ). I have never once had to travel by bus since the car.
Once, I had the car, the bus - the same bus that took me places and for being the means of some great memories has became annoying and that something I would never would want to take till my last breath. I started to feel bad for the bus, and took it to the next level of thought.
But isn't moving from bus to car simply meant I have grown economically ? Every time I complain the prices of fuel going up or my car broke down doesn't it just mean that I am blessed enough to have my own transportation. Haven't I worked hard to have some of these pleasures in life that discarding to ride the bus shouldn't be a big deal anymore.
How much ever I try convincing myself that its not wrong to feel this way about not wanting to take the bus I a big question came to my head - Does this attitude mean I am the kind who would get rid of things as I progress in life ?
Well, all I can do is just pray and hope not.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Which was my best year ?
A good friend of mine called me today and asked me what appeared to be a very simple question - Which has been your best year ? The answer however to me was very complex. While pondering on it, I asked him the same question back and pat came the answer '14, 16,18 and 22 were the best years of my life'
And I wished I could have had an instant answer just like my friend. I started to think, have I already had the best year of my life so far ? Or am I being so overly critical about my life that I can't even pick one good year out of the last 20 some years.
Life has definitely been a roller coaster as it has been to everyone else and I have had my share of the several ups and a the few downs. Its scary with the add-on queasy sensation when the ride goes down but that only makes the thrill of going up even more spine-tingling.
2008 - I enjoyed the nature hikes I took, slogged like a dog @ work and met some really nice people, found an American mom who made sure I was doing fine at all times, had a beautiful mini's mini garden that blossomed so well - managed to get 8 tomatoes, 12 red roses, 12 pink roses, and 12 yellow flowers and atleast a 100 purple petunias. Time just flew..
2007 - Celebrated by silver birthday in the most beautiful city - Montreal ( which was my previous year's wish), Enjoyed my very first walk on a snowy evening ( it snowed one day after Christmas that year), took pride in going for my first ever self sponsored holiday to the Far East.
And the list goes on ... every year has been good for me.. Some may be monotonous but good ! :D
And I wished I could have had an instant answer just like my friend. I started to think, have I already had the best year of my life so far ? Or am I being so overly critical about my life that I can't even pick one good year out of the last 20 some years.
Life has definitely been a roller coaster as it has been to everyone else and I have had my share of the several ups and a the few downs. Its scary with the add-on queasy sensation when the ride goes down but that only makes the thrill of going up even more spine-tingling.
2008 - I enjoyed the nature hikes I took, slogged like a dog @ work and met some really nice people, found an American mom who made sure I was doing fine at all times, had a beautiful mini's mini garden that blossomed so well - managed to get 8 tomatoes, 12 red roses, 12 pink roses, and 12 yellow flowers and atleast a 100 purple petunias. Time just flew..
2007 - Celebrated by silver birthday in the most beautiful city - Montreal ( which was my previous year's wish), Enjoyed my very first walk on a snowy evening ( it snowed one day after Christmas that year), took pride in going for my first ever self sponsored holiday to the Far East.
And the list goes on ... every year has been good for me.. Some may be monotonous but good ! :D
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Jokes
Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa Singh: The Tablets are walking in the market.
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa Singh: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!! *
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein
hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
Santa Singh: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs &
marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin
biwi ko nahi. *
*Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja
sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.*
Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa Singh: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa Singh: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta ! *
The donkey
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.
Santa Singh: The Tablets are walking in the market.
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa Singh: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!! *
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein
hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
Santa Singh: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs &
marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin
biwi ko nahi. *
*Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja
sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.*
Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa Singh: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa Singh: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta ! *
The donkey
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
